But does it? We can all agree that relationships should be built on some form of trust and honesty but why do we feel that being honest about our truest and most uncontrollable emotion - that of complete want, care and support - must be hidden until the "time is right". Is there ever really a right time to say these words? Better yet, is there ever a right time to feel them?
And what about these rules that we can never be in love too early? Who writes this shit? We have been completely blinded by Hollywood and literature, where first kisses must happen with intense eye contact and a slow movement of faces toward each other, as if the subjects are unsure about the upcoming action or the sheer energy of the kiss is too much to bear. And when someone says, "I love you," there must be a huge musical crescendo and a dramatic flair because these three little words mean so much.
While I'm not discounting the magic of first kisses and I love you's, the amount of emotional baggage we attach to some of these things (including, but not limited to, first sexual experiences, hand-holding, introduction to friends and parents, being completely vulnerable and honest about every emotion we feel) put them upon this pedestal that is scary and attainable only through some form of divine sign or experience.
And that just isn't the case. First of all, feeling like you love someone is a testament to how open to love you are and how loveable the person you feel the emotion for is. It should not be scary, it should not make you question numerous circumstances and your feelings, it shouldn't make you wonder whether your feelings are being skewed by situations that you are reading incorrectly or over-thinking. You should be ecstatic and truly indulge in the feeling. Not only that, but you should be able to tell the person you love exactly how you feel without them thinking they owe you something, or that everything has changed because you feel strongly for them. And you, yourself, should not feel like it means anything more than it does.
Maybe this is the problem: we hinge more on being in love than there is. Feeling like we are in love is a self-indulgent and personal experience. A true testament to us and our emotions - not the other person's. Yes, we would love for our love to be reciprocated and it is what we all deserve. But our love is not another person's and we should be comfortable with that (as should the other person in question). It is what runs through our own selves and it is completely, absolutely okay.
Who doesn't want to be loved? Who doesn't want to love? One of the goals of human nature is to find a thread of commonality that can make sense of the senseless and put purpose into breathing. Being in love is one of these things - it makes you feel attached and like you belong, like you are living for someone else who you give a damn about and want only the best for. This in no way should be made to seem like a weakness or a curse.
So I've decided the next time I feel it, I am going to say it. I'm not going to keep it to myself because what the fuck is the use? Even if it's only been a month, even if the self-help websites say you don't want to scare him off, even if I am scared of what it can mean and change - it is something that should be shared and felt in its entirety. Denying it only makes it seem dirty and unworthy of being felt which love is not.
It is beautiful - and we are beautiful for feeling it and even more beautiful for being able to say and express it.
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